RoboShark Publishing House & Fuzzy Kitty Emporium

June 18, 2012

If you don’t have time for a full viewing, here’s the wisdom from Phil Collins’ 1981 video for “I Missed Again” off his first solo album Face Value.

1. If you make a whole album about your terrible divorce from your wife after she left you for a local handyman, even your lighthearted moments from the album should be accentuated by the most dire form of loneliness possible. To wit: you are so alone you have to be each member of your session band.

2. You can’t really wear too much khaki as a white man in any era.

3. When playing drums, mount camera right at the testicles. For the ladies.

4. I’d pretty much wear any outfit from this video now, save for the hats because hats are for 1952 and Homo Guifiericus among us. The exception is the utility hat worn for profession, which is why I’m not in the habit of pointing and laughing drunkenly at helmeted firefighters rushing into burning buildings. (Not a habit, but it happens.)

5. Phil’s evil wife took the kids and his heart. She also took his instruments and the Phoenix Horns, a real dick move since Earth, Wind, and Fire needed them, too. For simply taking the Phoenix Horns alone, Phil Collins’ ex-wife is history’s worst whore-monster.

6. “Against All Odds” is a leftover track from these sessions, so remember that divorce can be profitable, and can also buy you nice houses in Switzerland.

7. Most convincing invisible instrument: drums, naturally.

8. Least convincing: bass, where it appears Phil is trying obtain a sperm sample from a male giraffe.

9:05am | URL: http://tmblr.co/ZpZxQyNdcOcO

(Notes: 40)